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Being showed to my room, a woman in a swimsuit walks past. I go in search of a bikini to buy; in the whole town nobody sells clothes. This one shop closes its doors for me to try on a neon pink leotard with ‘Famous’ written across the boobs. I go next door to the pharmacy and get sunblock instead because I can’t pack for shit.
At the Guesthouse restaurant, I order a Vodka martini, and ask if he can add green olives, he looks at me like I’m a savage. He slaps an apple martini down in front of me; it’s syrup sweet and has olives in it. I should’ve ordered wine. I throw it on a bogan villa around the corner and order a Madam Lucy MCC which tickles my fancy. There’s a man riding a horse down the street and a dog charging after a bicycle. I feel sexy. I go to dinner, the woman in the swimsuit is feeding King Klip to her dog right off her plate. Where am I going to find a swimsuit? I order the oyster and bubbly special, which comes with the same Madam Lucy, but they make a mistake and instead they bring me a white blend – a Miss Lucy, she’s gorgeous. I have dinner with Madam and Miss Lucy.
I go skinny dipping after.